I hope that you recognize where the title of this post comes from, or we may not be able to be friends. (only kind of kidding)
Marriage may be what brings us together, but it most definitely is what separates the men from the women.
Allow me to explain...
This morning I had an interesting conversation with my dear friend Kandy via text message. The conversation somehow turned to the topic of getting married and being single. We discussed the default answer to the question "why are you still single?" (which is a question I despise with every ounce of my being, in case you were wondering) We determined that the dude default answer is "I'm never getting married" and the chick default answer is "I am just waiting for the right guy to come along". Is there anything wrong with both of these answers...not really, but why do they differ so much?
My answer to the why do they differ question was girls say they are waiting for the right guy because they basically have been planning their wedding since they were 5 and are determined that they are going to get married so they can plan the wedding of their dreams. They are not ready to give up that dream! They refuse to let all those slumber parties that you spent hours looking through Bride Magazine be wasted. Or as it is today, they refuse to let all those perfectly good pins on their secret wedding board go unused! The question was also posed during this discussion, "what if the girl never gets married?" Which I see as a valid question and the answer was "she was still looking for Mr. Right..." (there is much truth in that).
Now the boys/gentlemen/dudes (which ever you prefer)...
Why is their default answer "I'm never getting married"?! Do they give up that easily? I think not, I have meet many a guy that is not willing to give up on ANYTHING that easily. Is it just easier to tell themselves they aren't getting married and go about their marry way? Do they even consider other responses? Is it easier to say that than to appear to be a "girly man"? What if a girl comes along and "changes their mind"? Is she really changing his mind or is she changing what he verbalizes? Do guys actually think about their weddings? (doubt it, but stranger things have happened). Boys are just a strange set of humans...
I feel like I just did a bunch of rambling. I apologize for that. If you are a dude and are reading this, help a sister out! Help me understand(isn)...I can't promise that I will fully understand, but you can explain it anyway.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
shopping and dating...
The title of this post is pretty straight forward...shopping and dating. There is no need to beat around the bush here, let's just get straight to the point shall we.
Today I went shopping. I had two specific things in mind that I "had" to have to complete two separate outfits. These two items were a navy blue shirt and a black and white polka dot shirt, seems simple enough. So my first stop was GAP outlet...surely they will have both of these items and I can go home and do nothing for the rest of the night. As I browse through the store, I come across about 7 different types of navy blue shirts. Which one is going to work best with the outfit I have picked out? Which one will I wear again? Decisions, decisions, decisions... (side note: I don't do well with decisions) I finally choose a soft cotton one that has a modest neckline (don't want to get too crazy) and seems to be long enough (because nothing is worse than a shirt that is too short...ugh!). Polka dot shirt was a no go at GAP so on to the next store I go...Macy's. I stroll around Macy's for a good hour looking at the exact same things 27 times. I tried on a few items, they weren't polka dot, but I thought they could work. I was wrong. I considered buying a new purse, because YOLO (yes I said it), but I resisted. No polka dot shirt was to be found, so I took a nice leisurely stroll through the shoes. I spotted the perfect pair...a pair of denim-esq flats with white stars on them. I had to have them. They would go perfectly with the outfit that was in my brain already anyway. I bought them. But still no polka dot shirt. So off to Target I go...my last resort. They had t-shirts on sale...bonus!!! But guess what they didn't have...polka dots! So after much debate, I decided to change the outfit in my brain and go a different direction. I bought a black t-shirt. I know, very original...deal with it! So long story short, I have a navy blue shirt, new star flats and a new black t-shirt...close to the original plan.
You are probably asking, what does this have to do with dating, and you have a valid point. Let me help you out. In my brain I have a picture of the man I am going to marry. I have a very good idea of what I want him to look like, how I want him to act, how much money he should make, and what sports he should enjoy (baseball, obviously). This picture in my brain has been there for a while and has probably kept me from having a very nice friendship/relationship with some guys. Many times when I am shopping I have an idea of what I want in my brain and rarely do I find it or anything else for that matter. I am too focused on what I want and not taking the time to see what is actually out there. I need to apply this to dating. I need to stop being Charlie Mackenzie and actually give guys a chance. I need to stop being so wrapped up in my world that I don't see what is actually out there. What have I already missed because I was too busy finding flaws to actually see the positive?
I realize there were a lot of "I"'s in that last portion...maybe that is part of the problem too. But that is for a different day.
Today I went shopping. I had two specific things in mind that I "had" to have to complete two separate outfits. These two items were a navy blue shirt and a black and white polka dot shirt, seems simple enough. So my first stop was GAP outlet...surely they will have both of these items and I can go home and do nothing for the rest of the night. As I browse through the store, I come across about 7 different types of navy blue shirts. Which one is going to work best with the outfit I have picked out? Which one will I wear again? Decisions, decisions, decisions... (side note: I don't do well with decisions) I finally choose a soft cotton one that has a modest neckline (don't want to get too crazy) and seems to be long enough (because nothing is worse than a shirt that is too short...ugh!). Polka dot shirt was a no go at GAP so on to the next store I go...Macy's. I stroll around Macy's for a good hour looking at the exact same things 27 times. I tried on a few items, they weren't polka dot, but I thought they could work. I was wrong. I considered buying a new purse, because YOLO (yes I said it), but I resisted. No polka dot shirt was to be found, so I took a nice leisurely stroll through the shoes. I spotted the perfect pair...a pair of denim-esq flats with white stars on them. I had to have them. They would go perfectly with the outfit that was in my brain already anyway. I bought them. But still no polka dot shirt. So off to Target I go...my last resort. They had t-shirts on sale...bonus!!! But guess what they didn't have...polka dots! So after much debate, I decided to change the outfit in my brain and go a different direction. I bought a black t-shirt. I know, very original...deal with it! So long story short, I have a navy blue shirt, new star flats and a new black t-shirt...close to the original plan.
You are probably asking, what does this have to do with dating, and you have a valid point. Let me help you out. In my brain I have a picture of the man I am going to marry. I have a very good idea of what I want him to look like, how I want him to act, how much money he should make, and what sports he should enjoy (baseball, obviously). This picture in my brain has been there for a while and has probably kept me from having a very nice friendship/relationship with some guys. Many times when I am shopping I have an idea of what I want in my brain and rarely do I find it or anything else for that matter. I am too focused on what I want and not taking the time to see what is actually out there. I need to apply this to dating. I need to stop being Charlie Mackenzie and actually give guys a chance. I need to stop being so wrapped up in my world that I don't see what is actually out there. What have I already missed because I was too busy finding flaws to actually see the positive?
I realize there were a lot of "I"'s in that last portion...maybe that is part of the problem too. But that is for a different day.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
must be nice...
I love my church, I really do! Right now we are focusing our attention on the book of Mark. As our pastor put it, Mark is the twitter version of the gospel. Mark is to the point. He is not going to sugar coat anything, he is not going to add fluff to make us feel good about ourselves...he means says what he means and means what he says. Today in church the sermon was over Mark 10: 17-31. If you are not familiar with this passage it is the passage in which Jesus speaks to the rich young man. Jesus gives the rich young man 4 instructions:
We may not see ourselves as a "rich young ruler" or as wealthy by any means. We may even sit back and compare ourselves to celebrities and those that we consider wealthy. We dream of having the wealth that they have, we wish that we could just know what it is like to be that rich for one day. We can't be content with what we have, because we continually compare ourselves to those that we will never be. My pastor told us this morning that 50% of the world's population lives on about $2.50 a day...to those people we are who they aspire to be. Let me give that a second to sink in...
Humbling isn't it? To half of the world's population, we are the wealthy, and we are never satisfied with what we have. I would venture to say that if you are reading this, you have a roof over your head, you have clothes to put on, you have the ability to wash said clothes, you have some form of transportation, you have food in your shelter (it may not be the food you want, but you have food), and you obviously have some means of connecting to the internet (computer, iPad, smart phone, etc). Ladies and gentlemen, that list of things is more than half the world will ever have! And yet we complain (myself included) that our car isn't nice enough, our internet isn't fast enough, the clothes we have aren't good enough. As we are sitting in our air conditioned/heated houses watching celebrities on our TV and thinking "must be nice to be them..." there are many in the world today looking at us and thinking the exact same thing about us.
Jesus knew that the rich young ruler needed to give up his possessions and his wealth before he could give Jesus his full allegiance. What is it in your life that you need to give up in order to give Jesus your full allegiance?
***In case you are wondering, this blog was not written to condemn or judge anyone...I am reading this and looking at myself in the mirror as well...***
- Go
- Sell everything you have
- Give to the poor
- Come, follow me
We may not see ourselves as a "rich young ruler" or as wealthy by any means. We may even sit back and compare ourselves to celebrities and those that we consider wealthy. We dream of having the wealth that they have, we wish that we could just know what it is like to be that rich for one day. We can't be content with what we have, because we continually compare ourselves to those that we will never be. My pastor told us this morning that 50% of the world's population lives on about $2.50 a day...to those people we are who they aspire to be. Let me give that a second to sink in...
Humbling isn't it? To half of the world's population, we are the wealthy, and we are never satisfied with what we have. I would venture to say that if you are reading this, you have a roof over your head, you have clothes to put on, you have the ability to wash said clothes, you have some form of transportation, you have food in your shelter (it may not be the food you want, but you have food), and you obviously have some means of connecting to the internet (computer, iPad, smart phone, etc). Ladies and gentlemen, that list of things is more than half the world will ever have! And yet we complain (myself included) that our car isn't nice enough, our internet isn't fast enough, the clothes we have aren't good enough. As we are sitting in our air conditioned/heated houses watching celebrities on our TV and thinking "must be nice to be them..." there are many in the world today looking at us and thinking the exact same thing about us.
Jesus knew that the rich young ruler needed to give up his possessions and his wealth before he could give Jesus his full allegiance. What is it in your life that you need to give up in order to give Jesus your full allegiance?
***In case you are wondering, this blog was not written to condemn or judge anyone...I am reading this and looking at myself in the mirror as well...***
Sunday, January 20, 2013
bringing it back to me...
This past summer, my friends and I decided to take a little trip. We took a trip to Chicago. Many memories were made in Chicago...some good and some bad, but memories none the less. Along with the memories, many new phrases were added to our "phrase bank". Some of the phrases were: "mojo goes Midwest", "Target miracle", "Are you sick?", "Here is what I'm saying, I have nothing to say", and "Bringing it back to me...". The last phrase, "bringing it back to me" is one that has been popping up in my brain a lot lately. And every time it does, I think "I need to write about that". I have wrestled with what to write and have finally determined what I want to say (I think), so here it goes...
We are all born with a selfish desire. We all have the desire to make things about us, to be selfish. Some of us out grow this, some of us never quite do. This brings up the question, when do we out grow this? I think that as a Christian, when you make the decision to follow Christ, that selfish desire is one that starts to fade, or at least it should. We start to realize that there is a bigger picture and that there is so much more that is so much bigger than us! And then we get comfortable. We want to focus on the bigger picture, but our comfort level leads us to say "bringing it back to me". We start doing things because it will benefit us or because we know that if we do something else it might push us to a place that we don't want to go. There is a point in which we have to step back and ask ourselves, "why am I doing this?" Am I saying that you shouldn't take time for you, not at all! I am saying that once every decision is based on if it benefits us personally or not, we have lost focus and need to reevaluate some things in our lives. We are not the ones that need to be saying "bringing it back to me..." but we should be listening to God say "bringing it back to me..." because if we are doing things for the right reasons, they will be bringing it all back to Him!
We are all born with a selfish desire. We all have the desire to make things about us, to be selfish. Some of us out grow this, some of us never quite do. This brings up the question, when do we out grow this? I think that as a Christian, when you make the decision to follow Christ, that selfish desire is one that starts to fade, or at least it should. We start to realize that there is a bigger picture and that there is so much more that is so much bigger than us! And then we get comfortable. We want to focus on the bigger picture, but our comfort level leads us to say "bringing it back to me". We start doing things because it will benefit us or because we know that if we do something else it might push us to a place that we don't want to go. There is a point in which we have to step back and ask ourselves, "why am I doing this?" Am I saying that you shouldn't take time for you, not at all! I am saying that once every decision is based on if it benefits us personally or not, we have lost focus and need to reevaluate some things in our lives. We are not the ones that need to be saying "bringing it back to me..." but we should be listening to God say "bringing it back to me..." because if we are doing things for the right reasons, they will be bringing it all back to Him!
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